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I don’t doubt that there are many, many women who trade sex in hopes of gaining all manner of emotional and financial benefits – I just thought we’d made a little more progress than is apparent. I honestly didn’t think it was still so nearly universal.

Paula made an excellent point below that women are still somewhat stigmatized for admitting to this kind of thinking or behavior. My bf and I discussed her post too, and he was surprised by that, to think that it still goes on (he’s doesn’t do the internet at all). Just think of all the heat that posts about ‘when to have that first sex’ garner, and the completely polarized advice given. We’re kinda damned if we do, damned if we don’t on that. I looked around at what dating had become after my divorce, and said fuck it, I’m not following any ‘rules’. It’s not how I’ve lived my life up to now, why should I follow something that feels false? Someone said it perfectly on another topic – a man who sleeps with you, and then holds it against you for sleeping with him “too soon”, is a douchebag. He’s likely going to have all sorts of other weird strictures as well.

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